You Have New Messages
by Misty Narumi
Summary: What kinds of messages do the characters of Card Captor Sakura get on their answering machine? Warning: OOCness! Character's POVs
1. Sakura Kinomoto

Hello all! Here's another CCS story of mine! (sigh) I seem to come up with very un-common CCS stories that you don't find on this site. Oh well! ENJOY!! Prepare for RANDOMNESS OF DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clamp owns CCS, not me. I've seen stories like this for Yugioh and Zatch Bell so I was like…. Why not for CCS? This idea popped into my mind and I needed to get this idea out of my head; it's interfering with my concentration for my other current stories. (sigh) I need to stop reading fan fiction.

Chiiyami- Yes you do

Chii-kun- Shaddup!

Chiiyami-

_What kinds of messages do the characters of Card Captor Sakura get on their answering machine? Warning: OOC-ness! Character's POVs_

Each chapter will be in each of the character's POV. For example, for this first chapter it will be in Sakura's POV.

You Have New Messages

1: Sakura Kinomoto

I stretched as I walked down the stairs to eat dinner after finishing my homework. I then spotted my father in the kitchen, making what looked like a Japanese cuisine. OH yummy!

"Good Evening Sakura-san," Father greeted warmly.

"Kon banwa!"

Father smiled. "It's going to take a while before dinner is ready. You have some messages on your answering machine from earlier today, while you were napping and doing your homework. Why don't you go and listen to them while you wait?" he suggested.

"Okay!" I hurried over to the answering machine next to the phone; the second answering machine in the whole house. My father and I have separate answering machines because dad uses his for work. .

As I got to the answering machine, I saw a red light blinking. I pressed the "play" button.

"Konnichiwa! This is Sakura Kinomoto! Please leave your message and tell me who you are at the end of the… Hoe… Arigatou!"

"_You have 7 new messages." _

**First Message**

(Monday, 3: 35 pm)

"_SAKURA-CHAN!!!!! YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME TO MAKE ANOTHER COSTUME!!" _

"_Tomoyo! How many costumes did you make all ready?! 100?!!!!!" Mei-ling exclaimed in disbelief. _

"_Oh Mei-ling-chan! You do know that there are never too many costumes for Sakura-chan in this world," Tomoyo replied as a matter of fact._

_Mei-ling huffed. "Whatever…" _

"_Mei-ling-chan, you seem jealous of Sakura-chan. Do you want me to make a costume for you?" Tomoyo cooed. _

_(blush) "Uh…. er…" Mei-ling stuttered. (runs away)_

"MEI-LING-CHAN!!!" (Tomoyo chases after Mei-ling) (Beep)

"…" no comment

**Second Message**

(Monday, 4:05 pm)

"_Hello Sakura-san, how are you? I've been…" _

"_COME BACK HERE WITH MY CAKE PIECE!! YOU HAD YOUR SHARE STUPID PLUSH TOY!!" _

"_NEVER!!! WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A PLUSH TOY?!! BRAT!!!" _

_There was then a sound of punches and wrestling; then an unmistakable sound of a crash and something broke. _

"_AAAAAHHHHH!!!! MY GLASS VASE!!! SYAORAN AND CEREBERUS YOU TWO ARE GONNA PAY AND FEEL MY WRATH!!!"_

"_WE'RE SORRY!!" _

"_Oh, by the way Syaoran, my descendant, Sakura-san probably heard you over the phone as she heard this message." _

_Syaoran was silent for a moment. (blush) "Oh….cra (beep)" _

OO "Hoe…"

**Third Message**

(Monday 4: 35 pm)

"_Hey Kaijuu!" Touya greeted on his cell phone. _

"_Touya, don't you think it's a little mean and old to call your sister "monster"?" Yukito was somewhere in Tomoeda with Touya. _

"_What do you mean, Yuki? She's my sister so I can do whatever I like with her!" _

"_Oh really? Even if she dates that Syaoran kid? Are you trying to say that you are a pedophile?" _

"_That brat is gonna die and I'll get him in a straight jacket and send him to Timbuktu! HEY!! Yuki that is just gross!! I would never do that sort of thing to my little brat! Sicko!" _

"_You seriously have a sister complex," Yukito chuckled. "And also, WHY WOULD I THINK THAT, SICKO?! You groped by butt when I wasn't looking when we worked at the aquarium so you're the sicko!" _

I gagged.

"_Yuki…" _

"_Yes Touya?" _

"_Shut the F up…" _

Me (Sakura)- OO "Onii…..chan…." _Will their relationship end?_

"_You do know that is the worst thing to say and aren't you suppose to be a good role model to Sakura-chan? She probably heard you over the answering machine." _

"…_I'm not in a good mood Yuki." _

"_Oh because you accidentally got the kitchen at McDonald's on fire and the boss got mad at you and fired you?" _

I gasped.

"… _Sakura…I will be home very late tonight. Disregard this message and if you tell dad then you are BUSTED! Also…don't TOUCH MY SHARE OF THE PIZZA!!" _

_(Beep) _

I whistled. "What pizza? Hehehehehehe…." I ate my share and his share of left over pepperoni and cheese pizza for lunch; without him knowing. I'm dead aren't I one-way or the other when he finds out.

**Fourth Message**

(Monday 4: 45 pm)

"_HI SAKURA-CHAN!!" Nakuru greeted cheerfully. _

_Suppi and Yue were heard in the background. _

"_WHEEE!!!!! NUMA NUMA YAY!! NUMA NUMA YAY!!" _

"_OMG RUBY!! You didn't stuff candy and saké down Yue's throat DID YOU?!!!" _

"_Uh….hehehehe"_

"_RUB…." Nakuru stuffed candy down Suppi's throat. "WHEEEE!!!! WAKA WAKA WAKA LAKA LAKA!!" _

_Nakuru cackled and then gawked. "OMG YUE!!! YOU'RE NAKED!!"_

_Yue and Suppi were heard singing the Willy Wonka song and the Ooompa Loompa song while running around. "Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! He's the bestest! Oompa Loompa Doopity Doo!" _

_(Beep)_

OO "That was strange and….disturbing…"

**Fifth Message**

_(Monday 5:05 pm) _

"_Hello Kinomoto! Hey speaking of telephones and answering machines, they go back way in the 1800s. The first telephone was used as a banana and the first answering machine was used as a watermelon connected to the banana. Strings were attached to the bananas between callers and wires were attached to the OW!!" _

"_YAMAZAKI!!! THAT WAS THE MOST STUPIDEST LIE I HAVE EVER HEARD FROM YOU!!" _

"_But Chiharu-chaaaaannnn, you know Kinomoto and Li are the most gullible and the stupidest people to fall for my lies." _

"_Uh…Yamazaki-kun, you do know that Sakura-chan's answering machine is recording all of this right?" Naoko informed. _

"_Yeah and she probably heard you call her stupid," Rika added. _

"_Uh…. er…KINOMOTO disregard this message as if I didn't say anything!" (Beep) _

T.T "I'm stupid? Yamazaki-kun is going to DIE!"

**Sixth Message**

(Monday 5:55 pm)

"_Hello Kinomoto-san, how are you?" Yelan Li was heard over the phone. "I…" _

"_CLOW REED!!! COME BACK WITH MY RUBBER CHICKEN!!" Kaho yelled as she chased Clow. _

"_NEVER!! GEORGE IS MINE!!! MINE!! MINE!!! MINE RUBBER CHICKEN!!" Clow screamed. _

"_HIS NAME IS FRED AND HE'S MINE!!! MINE HONEY COOES!!!" _

"_IT'S GEORGE!!"_

"_IT'S FRED!!"_

"_GEORGE!!" _

"_FRED!!" _

"_SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU!! I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE!!" Madoushi yelled. _

"_AHHH!!!! MADOUSHI!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO POOR LUETIKIMIA!!" _

"_Dissecting it…." _

"_NO!!!! LUETIKIMIA!!! KAHO!! GIVE ME BACK GEORGE NOW!!" Clow exclaimed. _

"_NO!!!" _

"_Uh…Clow is going through a mental phase and is now in love with rubber chickens," Yelan explained. "Kaho Mizuki, I have no clue what happened to her. Bye! I'm gonna have a word with the two rubber chicken fans."_

(Beep)

"Do I even need to ask? Also to give Clow Reed and Mizuki-sensei rubber chickens for their birthday. Isn't Clow Reed dead?"

**Seventh Message**

(Monday 6:00 pm)

"_HI SAKURA-SAMA!!!" _

"_MIRROR!! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?" _

"_Uh….talking to Sakura-sama on this thing? Watery-san, why are you yelling?" _

"_I'M NOT YELLING!!!" _

"_Guys! Please don't fight!" Sweet pleaded. "Or do I have to use my powers on you two!" she warned. _

"_YOU STAY OUT OF THIS SWEET!" Watery retorted. _

"_Isn't that thing a phone?" Power asked. "Besides Mirror, I thought you should know since you're close to human." _

"_And how did you know this thing of humans is called? Hmm?" Mirror inquired. "Pray tell Power!"_

_Power was taken aback. "Er………" _

"_MIRROR YOU BAKA!!! WE LIVE WITH SAKURA!!! Watery exclaimed. _

"_Uh….er……Sakura-sama, disregard this message!" _

"_Mirror, do you know what "disregard" means?" Sweet asked politely. _

"_Uh….." (beep)_

"That….was….strange…" o0

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Chii-kun- Hope you liked that chapter! Funny? Any ideas? Yay RANDOMNESS!!

Next: Tomoyo Daidouji!

Read and Review please!


	2. Tomoyo Daidouji

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I HAVE UPDATED!!! (cough)

YAY!! I'm glad you all liked this story and thought it was funny!! Enjoy!!

You Have New Messages

2: Tomoyo Daidouji

I stepped out of the bathroom after my usual shower, which is before supper. I walked into my room as I wiped my long dark hair with a towel. I was wearing my bathrobe. I decided to check to see if I have some messages on my answering machine while I wait for supper. One of the maids just told me it would be ready in a few minutes.

As I walked into my room, I went to my answering machine. I pressed the button.

"Moshi Moshi! Daidouji Tomoyo des! I am not present at the moment so please leave your name and phone number if I don't know you after the beep. Vote for Sakura-chan to be the cutest girl in the whole wide world!!!(Beep)

"_You have 6 new messages." _

**First Message**

(Tuesday 3:35 pm)

"_TOMOYO LOVE!! Can you please bail Syaoran and me out of jail? It was Syaoran's fault that we got into this mess. I don't have enough money with me!"_

"_Sssshya RIGHT!!! IT'S YOUR FAULT FOUR-EYES!! You deliberately blew up Toys R' Us and then we were brought into juvenile detention because we're minors!" _

"_But Syaoran-kuuunnnn…" Eriol cooed. "…That Jack in the Box creeped me out when Jack popped out! I thought it was gonna KILL ME," he wailed. " So I had to use magic."_

_Syaoran blushed. "DON'T CALL ME THAT WAY IN THAT TONE!! People are looking at us strangely." _

"_Also, You WIMPY IDIOT!! IT'S JUST A DAMN TOY!!" _

_Eriol (rolls eyes)- "Whatever but you never know…IT MIGHT BE CURSED!!" _

_Syaoran- "Why…. you… If Mother finds out about this, she's GONNA KILL ME!! Not to mention cut my WHOLE ALLOWANCE!! It'll be ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" (tackles Eriol) _

_Eriol- "AAAAHHHHH SAVE ME!!!" (BeeP) _

OO I quickly got dressed and put on my coat. I took leave towards the jail for Juveniles to bail Eriol and Syaoran before Syaoran kills Eriol.

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I slowly walked back up the stairs to my room after I got back from the prison. _Sigh…._ I've realized boys will never learn. I listened to the next message as I got to my room.

**Second Message**

_(Tuesday 3:50 pm)_

_Tomoyo baby! How are ya! I have a song for you my darling flower! (Sings) "I'll make love to you, if you want me to. I'll hold you tight, baby all through the night…" _

"_NO!! That's wrong and that's lame dude! Tomoyo-chan! Don't listen to him! This is the song! (Sings) You don't have to be rich to be my girl. You don't have to be cool to rule my world…la la la la…la la I just need your X…." (1)_

"_That's wrong also baka!" _

_(Sound of wrestling)_

_(beep)_

"_Sigh_…boys from chorus. Sorry I'm taken."

**Third Message**

(Tuesday 4: 30pm)

"_Hello Daidouji-chan! It's me Yukito, friend of Sakura-chan's brother. I just thought I say "Hi" and a "How…" _

"_Yuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _

"_How are…." _

"_Yuuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" _

"_How are you and…. YUE!!! WHAT THE HELL IS IT!!!" _

"_Yuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm in paaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! My head aches!!!!!!!!!" Yue whined. _

_(sigh) "After Yue came home yesterday from Nakuru's place, he's been having a hangover from too much sugar and sake. Now he's…."_

"_Yuuuuuuuuuuuuukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! OH THE PAIN!!!!!!!!!! THE AGONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" _

"_YUE!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!!" Touya exclaimed. _

_(sigh) "Being a drama queen. Talk to you later! Ja ne!" _

"_YUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII"- (beep)_

OO "That was strange and not like Yue-san and Tsukishiro-san."

**Fourth Message**

_(Tuesday 5:00pm)_

"_Hello Tomoyo honey! This is me, your mother! I called to let you know that…."_

"_BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SUCCESSS!!!! I have created the utmost destructive and defense of all mankind!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!" _

"_CLOW REED!!! When have you become a psychopath?!!!" Yelan Li yelled over the phone. _

_(ignores) "HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!! Be Afraid!! Be Very Very Afraid of…..MY LASER EYED BEARS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!! I'M A GENIUS!!!"_

"_TEDDY!!!!" _

"_KAHO!!! STAY AWAY!!! NO TOUCHIE!!!" _

"_I WANNA PET TEDDY BERRY BEARS!!!" Kaho cried cutely. _

"_OOOHHHHHH!!! Can I dissect them?!!! PLEASE!!! For my new experiment?" Madoushi pleaded. _

"_NO!!! Not after what you to did to poor Luetikimia!!!" _

"_Ooooh….what does this button do?" _

"_KAHO!!! DON'T TOUCH !!!" _

_BOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! (beep)_

OO "That was un called for."

**Fifth Message**

_(Tuesday 5:10pm)_

"_TOMOYO-CHAN!!!!" Sakura cried. _

"_Hey Tomoyo! It's me the most awesome-ness, most handsome, the most popular Card captor Mascot in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD, the most cutest, the most…." _

"_SHUT UP PLUSH TOY!!" Mei-ling roared. _

"_TOMOYO-CHAAAAAAANN!!!!!" Sakura whined. _

"_WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' A PLUSH TOY BRAT!!!" _

"_PLUSH TOY! PLUSH TOY! PLUSH TOY!" Mei-ling chanted. _

"_MORTAL FOOL!!! DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH?!!!" _

"_PLUSH TOY! PLUSH TOY! PLUSH TOY!" Mei-ling ignores and continues to sing. _

"_GRR….THAT'S IT BRAT!!!" _

_(sound of wrestling in the background)_

"_TOMOYO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!"_

"Um….Oh…Sakura-chan sounded so cute!" _Teehee_

**Sixth Message**

_(Tuesday 5:20pm)_

"_Konnichiwa Tomoyo-chan!! This is Rika!" _

"_Hey Daidouji-chan, about camcorders they go way back…" _

"_Yamazaki…don't even start," Chiharu warned. _

"_Yeah, Tomoyo-chan knows that all you say are lies," Naoko pointed. _

_Yamazaki was silent for a moment. "Oh…Blitznak! (beep)_

"Um…. okay?"

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Chii-kun- I hope you all liked that!!! Who should be the next victim? XD

(1) I got this idea from remembering the mating parts from the movie "Happy Feet" XD

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!


	3. Syaoran Li

**WHOOT!!!! ANOTHER CHAPTER!!! sorry for the long wait**

**Sakura, Tomoyo, Syaoran, Eriol, Chiharu, Naoko, Rika, Mei-ling, and Yamazaki all reached puberty. Guess how old they are (wink) **

**Chapter 3: Syaoran Li**

I unlocked my room door with the key and opened it. I sighed. It was such a day at school, such a bummer! As I walked in, I tossed my backpack on the floor. I put my house sandals on. I decided to see if I have any messages so I walked over to the answering machine. I pressed the button that was blinking red.

"_Hey this is Syaoran Li, head of the Li clan of Hong Kong. Leave your message and tell me who you are at the end of the beep. If you're just so happen to be a stranger or a fan girl, buzz off!! If you are Sakura's brother or someone I hate, screw you and go to Hell." (Beep) _

"_You have 7 new messages."_

**First Message**

(Wednesday 4:35pm)

"_KONNICHIWA SYAORAN-KUN!!!" _

I blushed when I heard Sakura's voice.

"Hey Syaoran-kun guess what? I'm sorry but I'm in love with my idol Yugi Mutou! I hope we could still be friends."

T.T _why????????!!!! Damn that King of Games!_

_(long silence)_

"_APRIL FOOLS!!"_

O.O

_Tomoyo- "Sakura-chan, its past April." _

_Mei-ling- "Yeah, its August now." _

_Sakura- "Oh…whoops. Syaoran-kun, disregard this message and see you later!" _

T.T _Does she love me or not?!_

_Sakura- "Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that chocolate ice cream that you love is melting in my body." (Beep)_

I grinned evilly. "Oh yeah! SCORE!!!" _I must remember to bring some strawberries and order some chains and whips…or ask Eriol if I can borrow his. (grins devilishly) _

**Second Message **

_(Wednesday 4:37pm)_

Some guy- "Hey there Sexy Mama! Let's go hang out sometime, whaddya say babe? My number is 123-0988. CALL MEH!!! See ya later ya sexay Barbie you!" (Beep)

O.O (pale) "Someone give me a barf bag…"

**Third Message**

_(Wednesday 4:40pm)_

"SYAORAN!! YOU HAWT AND SEXY BISHIE YOU!!! This is me, Amy the President of your Fan Club. I was wondering if you could ditch Sakura-teme no bitch and be my fiancé! Whaddya say? Call me at 444-8888. Ciao!! Kisses!! Mwah!!"

My eyes flinched. "Whose she calling Sakura a teme no bitch?! I'll give her a piece of my mind! I hate fan girls."

**Fourth Message**

_(Wednesday 4:45pm)_

_Eriol- "Moshi Moshi! My Kawaii descendant! I want to let you know that I just finished watching your porn DVDs. Is it okay if my incarnation, Clow Reed, borrow them? (whisper) Don't let the girls know about this"_

(Nakuru finds the DVDs)

"_Eriol, what are these?" _

"_Nakuru! Put those DVDs down now!!!" _

"_But, what are…ERIOL!!!" _

"_Uh…gotta run" _

"_ERIOL!!! COME HERE YOU NAUGHTY BOY!!"_

Kero- "Brat, is this you? If it is then, did you know that you are stinky like a skunk? No wait, you are stinkier than a skunk! HAHA!!! I don't see why Sakura likes a skunk like you! YOU STINK BAD!! Peeeeeeeeeee whoooo!!! I could smell you all the way over here YOU STINKIN LITTLE BRAT!!!!"

(twitch)

_Kero- "HAHAHAHAHA----MUMPH"_

_Suppi- "Shaddup Kero! You're being noisy!" _

_Kero- "Thanks Suppi! I needed those creampuffs. Anyway, later YA STINKIN BRAT!!" (Beep)_

"When I get my hands on that plush toy, I am going to skewer him for dinner!" mwehehe "Although, Sakura would be having me for dinner…. mmhmmm I would love that…." _(Drools for a moment before going back to his messages)_

**Fifth Message**

_(Wednesday 5:00 pm)_

"_Hello Syaoran, this is your mother speaking. One of your sisters informed me when she found some certain magazines under your bed at home. I also heard that you were put into jail and you are grounded for 5 months," Yelan scolded. "You're allowance is now cut so I advise to get a part time job." _

_Clow Reed, Madoushi, Kaho and Sonomi were heard in the background while Yelan was talking. _

_Kaho and Madoushi were loudly singing the Can Can song, like they were drunk_

"_WAAAHH!!!" Sonomi bawled. _

"_NO!! Jeffrey!! How could you leave Susie in the dust crying!!!" Clow exclaimed at the TV. He and Sonomi were watching a soap opera._

Yelan sighed. "I'll see you later." (Beep)

"AW MAN!!" I complained. "Damn, this is all Eriol's fault!!"

**Sixth Message**

_(Wednesday 5:05 pm)_

"Hey brat, about that message……."

_Oh great, its that stupid brother of Sakura's_ I rolled my eyes.

_Yukito and Yue were playing poker and were heard in the background. _

"_HAHA!! Royal Flush!!! WHOOT!!!" (Yue does a chicken dance)_

"_Yue…what are those….." _

"_Uh oh…." _

"_Yue!!! Damn you!! You cheated!!!" (Yukito chases Yue)_

"_AAAHHH!!!!" _

"_COME BACK HERE SO I CAN KILL YOU!!!" _

"_Anyway brat, the next time I see you I am going to send you to Hell. You won't be able to see my sister ever again!" (Beep)_

"Heh, yeah right unless I send you to Hell first!"

**Seventh Message**

_(Wednesday 5:15 pm)_

_Yamazaki- "Hello Li-kun, guess what? Your refrigerator is running." _

_Chiharu- "That's lame Yamazaki-kun." _

_Yamazaki- "Oh about refrigerator's running, without you knowing they run on two legs out of the house. That's how refrigerators some how go missing when one needs a midnight snack. The other refrigerators party all night until its time for them to go home." _

_Rika- "Yamazaki-kun, I thought you were going to say something like…" _

_Naoko- "Hey Li-kun, this is Yamazaki-kun the lying monkey. I think you're very stupid since you always seem to fall for my pointless and lame lies." _

_Yamazaki- "…. uh…. Li-kun…. disregard this message." (beep)_

I cracked my knuckles. "Someone is going to die tomorrow."

**33333333333333333333333333333 **

**Chii-kun- Who should be the next victim?**


	4. Eriol Hiiragizawa

**I'm bored…… and I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura… **

**Chapter 4: Eriol Hiiragizawa**

I sighed with relief as I shut the door after me. I made it to my house on time before Syaoran killed me for ending up in prison. I ran all the way home from school. I then spotted the red light blinking on my answering machine. I pressed the button.

"_Greetings, this is Eriol Hiiragizawa, your trusty, cunning, sexy, and handsome sorcerer known in the Magical Universe; and reincarnation of Clow Reed. Tomoyo Daidouji is my future Queen when I rule the entire Universe, so touch her and I'll send you to the Apocalypse! (ahem) Please leave a message after beep and I'll get back to you when I return." (Beep)_

"_You have 7 new messages" _

**First Message**

_(Thursday 3:55pm) _

"_HEY FOUR-EYES! You're lucky you got away earlier, but the next time I see you, YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!! YOU HEAR ME FOUR-EYES!!!! IT'S YOUR FAULT that my Mother grounded me and took away my allowance!!" _

"_La…..la…..la!" (Sakura singing in the background)_

"…_.." _

"_SAKURA!! GIMME THAT DEATH NOTE!!" _

"_NEVER!!" _

_(beep) _

I shuddered. "Oh…… crap……" Hopefully, the next message would make me feel better…..

**Second Message**

_(Thursday 4:05pm)_

"_Ohhhh Cutie pie!!!!! Why do you have to die?!!!!! WAHH!!!!!!"_ Tomoyo cried over the phone.

"Um….Tomoyo…. I'm still…."

(sniff) "We…..we….didn't have X YET!!! And I was looking foreword to doing it! WAH!!" (sniffles) "Guess…. I have to find someone to satisfy my X hunger…..maybe the infamous Seto Kaiba….."

I gaped in shock. _Grrr…. Nobody… NOBODY! Is gonna have a splendid time in bed with my FUTURE QUEEN!!" _

"_I love you…. My sexy sorcerer….and…." (beep) _

"NOOOOoooooooo!!!!! TOMOYO!!!! I'M ALIVE!!! ALIVE!!!!"

Damnation!!! I cursed and went on to the next message.

**Third Message**

_(Thursday 4:15pm)_

"_Hello, my reincarnation…. Since you're gonna die, I was wondering if I could have the hentai stuff…. You know….cuz its so I can….." _

"_OMFG!!! CLOW!!!!" _

"_Err……" _

"_Clow!! What the (BEEP) is this PORN CRAP?!!" _

"_Explain yourself!!" _

"_Ah….Kaho-chan…. Sonomi-chan…..Gotta go!!" _

"_YOU (BEEP) GET BACK HERE…….." (BEEP)_

"…… I think I know where I got my pervetedness from…."

**Fourth Message**

_(Thursday 4:15pm)_

(gasp) "Is this…..is this…. OMG!!!! (squeal) ERIOL-SAMA!!!! I AM LIKE YOUR BIGGEST FAN GIRL!!!!! KYAAAA!!! OMG THIS IS ERIOL-SAMA'S VOICE MESSAGE BOX!!! KYAAA!!!!! ERIOL-SAMA!!!! I WANNA MARRY YOU!!! Forget that Bitch Tomoyo! MARRY ME!! YOUR MOST BIGGEST FAN GIRL!! I have dozens of pictures of you and….and… many fan art of you….and and…. I EVEN COSPLAYED AS YOU!!! AND…." (Beeeeeeeeeeeeeep)

(shudders) "Eckk…… GOD! Get a life! And TOMOYO'S NOT A BITCH!!"

**Fifth Message**

_(Thursday 4:25pm)_

"_Hey foxy mama! Call me suga baby at 809837293! Call me and lets call it a date at the bar!"_

"I….think I'm pretty much scarred for life after hearing those last couple of messages…."

**Sixth Message**

_(Thursday 4:35pm)_

"_Hey! I heard that you're gonna die soon from the peanut-brain brat name Syaoran!"_ Kero said. _"Awww…. That's too bad! It's kind of funny! HA!!"_

"_PARTY!! WHOOT!!!"_ the others Guardians were heard in the background.

"_I wannna hit the Piñata!!"_ A drunk and hyper Yue whined.

"_NO!!! IMMA GONNA!!!"_ Nakuru barked.

"WHEE!!! CANDY!!!" (beep)

"…..THOSE (BEEP) TRAITORS!!!" I exclaimed furiously.

**Seventh Message**

_(Thursday 4:45pm)_

"_Hey Eriol, my favorite partner in crime! Guess what? You're…." _

"_Gonna be dead in less than a minute after finding certain porn videos and magazines UNDER YOUR BED!!" _

"_I…..gotta run…." _

"_YAMAZAKI!!! YOU (BEEP) (BEEP) GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!!" _

"_CHIHARU-CHAN!! I LOVE YOU!! ARRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!" (beep)_

"…. Glad I'm not the only one…"

**4444444444444444444444444444444**

**Chii-kun- "So… that was Eriol's… Next is Mei-ling Li!" **


	5. Meiling Li

**Been awhile since last update, huh? I've been getting into other anime lately as you can kinna tell by the stories I've been writing on my page…. **

**Anyway.. **

**Chapter 5: Mei-ling Li**

I wiped my forehead with a hand towel. After I got home after an afternoon jog around town and some martial art training of my own, I cooled myself off with cold water and ice-cold water. I stepped out of the bathroom and noticed the light on my answering machine blinking. I pressed the button and….

_Ni Hao Ma! I, Mei-ling Li, isn't present at the moment so leave a message and tell me who you are and the end of the beep! (beep)_

_You have 5 new messages!_

**First Message**

(Friday 1:38 pm)

"_Hey Brat! Yeah! You're still a brat even as a teenager! An ugly, fat one! HAHAHAHAHA! I don't think I can bear to look at you anymore! Ahahahahaha!" _

"_Kero-chan! That's not nice!"_

"_OMG! PUDDING AND ICE CREAM! GIMME!" _

"_NO! NEVER! MINE!" _

"_Awww! Sakura, you stingy!" _

"_PIG!" _

"_What'd you say other brat?" _

"_Hi Mei-ling-chan! Let's go shopping sometime!" Tomoyo chimed._

"_Mei-ling! You better not have searched my stuff!" Syaoran exclaimed. _

"_You sure you don't have any po-" Eriol was cut off. (beep)_

"…..excuse me, while I go look for something to destroy out of my rage and plan to kill that stuffed toy!"

**Second Message**

(Friday 2:28 pm)

"_OMG! Mei-ling? I am like… YOUR BIGGEST FAN! You totally rock girl and kick ass! Screw the fan girl named Tomoyo and the whiney, crybaby, and think she's all that Sakura! Your Numbah ONE GUHLLL!_

_YOU OWN!" (beep)_

"Ah…thanks?"

**Third Message**

(Friday 3:37 pm)

"_Meirin! What should I doooooo? Sebastian's gonna kill me and I accidentally pulled out the orchids while pulling the weeds! WAAAHHH!" _

"_Finny! Why the hell are you…." _

"_Um…Finny, I'm right here and went out of the room for a second.." _

"_Oops! Sorry! Wrong number! No wait…" (beep)_ (1)

"…um…okay?"

**Fourth Message**

(Friday 4:38 pm)

"_Hello Mei-ling! How are you? This is your cousin!" _

"_AHHHHHHHHH! RUN FOR COVER!" _

"_Clow! What the hell did you do?" Sonomi exclaimed angrily. _

"_Err… usual spells and magic?"_

"_GET THESE YUCKY SPIDERS OFFA ME!" Kaho screeched. _

"_EEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!" (beep)_

"….do I even want to know? Eew.. spiders!"

**Fifth Message**  
(Friday 5:08 pm)

"_Hey Mei-ling, guess what?" Yamazaki chimed. "Pole-knocking go way back in the 18__th__ century and…." _

"_Blah, Blah, Blah! Coming out with your mouth with your Blah, Blah, Blah!" Chiharu sang. _

"_The nobles watch their servants…." _

"_Zip your mouth like padlock," Riku added. _

"…_knock each other off and the loser…." _

"…_.don't be a little a little bitch with your chit chat," Naoko sang._

"_Blah, Blah, Blah!"_ (2)

"_Oh…forget it!" (beep)_

"…. I love that song!"

****

**Next: Touya Kinomoto **

**(1) Kuroshitsuji by Tobosa Yana: it was…random XD; **

**(2) "Blah, Blah, Blah" by Kesha**

**I don't own Cardcaptor Sakura… Clamp does! **

**Okay…this chapter might have sucked a bit….**


	6. Touya Kinomoto

**I've decided that this would be the last chapter of this little fic. I have no reason to continue as what goes on in my own life; and I'm sure you all can understand as all of you also have lives. **

**Anyway…. **

**Chapter 6: Touya Kinomoto**

I took my cap off, combing my hair back with my fingers. It had been a busy morning; almost didn't expect it to be this busy and people wanting to buy the latest albums and merchandise. I've thought for a moment of what to do during my first break of the day only thinking of nothing.

I walked over to my locker, unlocking the lock with the right code. I guess I'll check to see if I have any messages.

I checked my cell phone and what do you know? I have five new voice mail messages. I pressed the button before placing the phone to my ear to listen.

**First Message**  
(Sat. 8:30am)

"_OMG ASHGLGSLGSGGS;SG LSGLS; OMG! Is this… Touya…numbers….. EEEEEEEEEELHGLSGHSLGSGS GISGSLGJLSSL;-" _

I quickly deleted the message, cringing. A scowl formed on my lips and a migraine forming. You don't know how much I hate these types of fangirls.

And also.. how the hell did this insane person got my number? And who talks like that? Seriously…

**Second Message  
**(Sat. 10 am)

"_Hello Touya Kinomoto, would you like to make a wish and form a contract with me and become a magical girl?" _

…

the hell?

**Third Message****  
**(Sat. 9: 15am)

"_Touya…..To-kun? We need to talk." _

…. Yuki sounds serious…

Wait, why is he calling me at that time when we saw each other today?

"_Yue's feeling better and back to his old self!" _

"_I… am….going….to… murder….that…. wench.. .Ruby…. and Spinel_…." I heard him growl, murmuring a threat. It was a little faint, but I heard it.

Well… at least Yue's not a crazy, hyper guardian any more.

**Fourth Message**  
(Sat. 9: 30 am)

"_YO! Baby! I saw you pass by on your bike! I wasn't able to talk to ya! Just wanted ta get ta know ya sexy ass, ya know what I mean, babe? WINK WINK WONK!" _

….. WINCE AND DELETE DELETE DELETE!

The last thing I wanted to know is of a guy hitting on me, a total creep almost twice as old as me! And I love someone else.

And how the hell this person get a hold of my number?

**Fifth Message**  
(Sat. 10 am)

"_O-nii-san! You know what I want for Christmas, right?" _

….. it's July! It's too soon to think of Christmas!

"_Well…. Anyway, I've found a new anime to watch and love called Cardfight! Vanguard and I got Syaoran and Mei-ling into it, possibly Eriol. Tomoyo just wants to watch and film me fight…. The usual Tomoyo…. " _

"_SO! I want the booster set 5! Since my friends were thinking of getting something else for me…." _

"_STAND UP! (THE) VANGUARD!" _

"_I don't really care who wins and hope they both lose!" _

"_I don't think that is possible, Kero-chan…" _

"_Why not, Tomoyo?" _

"_And why did the brat (Syaoran) gotta say "THE" before "Vanguard"?" _

"_THANKS! BYE! Time to watch Syaoran and Mei-ling's fight!__"_

I'm guessing she's not into that card game Yugioh anymore? I mused for a moment thinking about what Sakura requested of wanting for Christmas. I glanced up from the corner of my eye towards the clock on the wall. Well, time to go back to work. I've made a mental note to change my number.

**6666666**

**That's all folks! **

**Thank you all for being patient, reading, faving, and commenting. **

**Have a nice day! :3**


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